Last but Not Least

I'd love to have the inherited wisdom of a third child. You have absorbed all of the trial and error of your siblings. Your parents are much more relaxed about your existence which results in an ease throughout your life.... less stringent rules on nutrition, bed times, schoolwork, and most importantly, curfew.

My friends that are the third child were always impossibly cool compared to my nerdy first born existence. My sister Mary always carves her own path and has a extensive fan club of Mary worshippers. In high school, my dear friend Lori introduced me to Led Zeppelin and hosted infamous house parties. Emma and David are married and both the third child and they throw house parties with cases of champagne in Brooklyn while their kids play on the third floor with the nanny.

As the first born, the entire scope of your life is through the lens of your parents. As a third child, your perspective is shaped by your siblings. Their friends. Their sports. Their music. Their clothes. So you can be exposed to it all early, decide what you like, and watch the first borns try to keep up.

As families with more than two children become more rare compared to previous generations, I feel that I need to almost apologize for being pregnant now with my third. Because many of those couples who have decided that two is max for them are horrified, shocked, incredulous, sympathetic that you have decided to pay a third college tuition/ unpack the diaper pail again/ wait another five years to have all of your children in school all day.

I need to stop apologizing and rolling my eyes at our decision. To stop saying, "We are crazy." Or "It's going to be a zoo." I need to say, We are blessed to bring a third child into the world, for us to love, for our children to love, and to bring all of the inherited knowledge and their own cultural choices and confidence of a third child into the world.